[00:00:00] Welcome back to another episode of the triple T podcast. Today, I am so thrilled to be joined by Heather Bookstaver. She is a remarkable educator with over 33 years of experience in the classroom. And her journey is just nothing short of inspiring. She has actually taught in the same district she grew up in and she follows in the footsteps of her parents who were also educators.

And even her husband is an educator. And despite facing significant personal challenges, including a cancer diagnosis that came with COVID, she has reinvented her teaching approach to really focus on what she believes children need most today. And that is social and emotional learning. So in this episode, Heather is going to share how these experiences have led her to embrace. SEL in the classroom.

She's going to talk about creating a nurturing environment where students can learn and [00:01:00] thrive. And she's going to share some of her practices from breathing techniques to her chance at piloting the positivity project. And all of this is aimed at helping students to regulate their emotions and to build strong, supportive classroom communities. Heather's insights.

They're not just practical. I think you'll be deeply moved. And I think you'll walk away with a renewed commitment to really focusing on emotional wellness and your own classroom. So without further ado, let's welcome Heather to the show.

Welcome, welcome, Heather. So glad you're here. And why don't we start by. Just having you introduce yourself. Hi, Cassie. It's so great to be here.

Thank you so much for having me on. This is a topic that I have reinvented myself into, and I'm very excited about it. I see the reaching effects of this kind of curriculum and practice. So I'm really excited [00:02:00] about. Talking about this. So I've been teaching for 33 years. This is my 33rd year teaching.

I've been in the same school where I grew up. My parents, all three of my parents were educators here in this district. So I know a lot about how our families and how our kids work and live and the things that they need. I went to Southern Illinois University in Carbondale and got my bachelor's and almost my master's, but kids were kind of a thing, and so we just paused right there, but My career really changed in 2019.

I was diagnosed with cancer for the second time and I was out. I had a really long recovery and I came back to school for one single day. And then we were out for COVID in 2020. So, during that time I was so vulnerable and The risk [00:03:00] was so great that I I was really kind of terrified of my job and it stopped me in my tracks and I could barely walk into the building every day.

I was too close to retirement to just quit and I was too far away from retirement to just retire. So I had to. Reinvent what I was doing and I had to find some way to make this work for me and as I Found my way through some of this. I realized that it's not just me that needs this. My kids needed it so much more and had less of an opportunity to learn these kinds of things because we're we're fairly low socioeconomic area and there's a low rate of education here.

And so, those kinds of things all work hand in hand. And our kids just need things. Before COVID and [00:04:00] definitely now things have changed in education so much. I love hearing your perspective because I actually quit teaching the year before COVID to go full time with Minds in Bloom.

So I haven't been back into the classroom since COVID and everything has changed. What do you think has changed the most in your students if you compare the before and the after? I think the level of anxiety and the frequency of occurrence. They're just. Less stable. And I teach fourth grade. So, this group this year was the group that was in kindergarten that did not learn the social cues that they needed to learn. So this group especially is dysregulated. I see a really high occurrence of, I'm not a doctor, but you know, I've been here a long [00:05:00] time, a lot of ADHD types of symptoms.

I have a couple of kids that are tearful often. This year I think I have more students with an incarcerated parent than I've ever had before. That's, Serious. That's a big deal.

What has changed in your teaching practices or that you've seen other teachers doing or using to combat this wild change that we've seen in just the, such a short amount of time? Right. I'm much less old school than I used to be. Because I come from a family of educators. You know, I was pretty old school.

But I have just opened up and I've let the kids know who I am and what I'm going through. And left it open for them to share with me. we talk a lot about our classroom [00:06:00] community and how we're a family and this is a safe space for us. And you know, the things that we share and the ways that we grow here in our classroom is for us.

And, you know, not to share on the playground. And so we've already had a lesson on gossiping and we've already had a lesson on, I am me. So, those kinds of things have changed, but also the way I approach my curriculum, I would rather teach the child than teach the curriculum.

And since I've been here so long and I have two years and 158 days until I retire and my saying is what are they going to do, fire me in the middle of a teacher shortage? No. So I'm going to do things my way and I'm going to do what my. Kids need what they need from me. And I know that my students through somehow the wisdom of the universe have come to me for a specific reason.

There's something that I have to offer [00:07:00] them that they'll need this year. I want to give you a standing ovation for that. I think we all need to get better about looking at the student that we're teaching and separating ourselves from the expectations of administration of the curriculum.

And that is a hard thing to do. So, kudos to you you've mentioned to me where you've done some breathing programs or calmness programs with your students. Tell us a little bit about that. Okay. Well, I have personally been a student of yoga for a long time, but.

Bringing that into the classroom. I started with Calm Classroom and my husband's a social worker administrator now. So, you know, some of those things filtered to me a little earlier than to some other people. So I was working with Calm Classroom and it was a great way to start because it was so scripted [00:08:00] literally had what you say and if you pause and Those were some neat things and my kids benefited from that.

I moved let's see, I started doing a little more yoga teaching. Even though I don't have a license or anything, I was just, you know, with friends leading classes. I decided to start in the after school program. And so I was running two different sections of yoga and the after school program.

And I had third and fourth grade. And then I had, you know, sixth, seventh and eighth and the two different groups needed different things. And that's why we decided to separate them. But bringing those things into the classroom, I. Was working with yoga and, you know, we were talking a lot about it. And then I started with breathe for change.

That's my pivoting moment. After I decided I needed something more after COVID, I went [00:09:00] through the breathe for change program. And I learned a lot, but I also. confirmed the things that I believed that would be appropriate for me and for my classroom. And I've been just gathering bits and pieces from different places.

there's a lady that I follow She's hello. Inner light is her Instagram name. And she's really good. And there's another guy that I follow. His name is Michael Galleon and he's a certified coach, meditation coach. So I just glean things from different places. Last year, I had the opportunity to be part of a grant that was paired with a hospital in Chicago.

And so we had additional training. Even then, like the new things that I learned from Breathe for Change, then I was reconfirming with this new program. And so everything's coming together. And I'm [00:10:00] starting on my new fourth program, I guess now called the Positivity Project. So what is the Positivity Project?

The Positivity Project is a tiered curriculum. It's really extensive. There's so much in it. It's a company that schools would get a subscription and then the materials would be available to their educators and their social work leaders, their family practitioners, home school practitioners.

And it has, for Illinois, we have tiered goals for social emotional learning. And so it addresses all three tiers. There are resources upon resources. And so I'm trying them out, and I'm getting my feet wet, and I'm bringing my kids along with me, and we're all just learning together.

Meditation and mindfulness is what I teach the most [00:11:00] and self regulation and naming your feelings and just making those kinds of practices normalized. they're good for, , not just the classroom, they're good for life. So I'm teaching them how to be kind to themselves for the rest of their lives and kind to others for the rest of their lives.

I, I did look it up a little bit just and this has been a couple of weeks ago, but I think I remember reading that a big part of it is Other People Matter. Yes. What is, how does that work into, I love that, I just love the name Other People Matter and what it probably means for the program, but how is that a part of the program?

Keeping that in mind, it brings joy and happiness and peace. To your life, knowing that you are taking care of the people around you in little ways and big ways and understanding that there is a give and take to that, [00:12:00] that treating people the way that you want to be treated, that it does come back to you.

Yeah. And it feels good too. I got to send out a prize today. And it just felt so good to, I don't know, just to know you're making someone else. Happy. Happy. Yeah. Yeah. And we were talking about that today in class. When you have the people next to you feeling positive, that those positive vibes just kind of affect everything around them, including you.

Absolutely. I remember years ago I was in a point of teaching where I was really burned out. And that year I was just so negative. And we had a brand new teacher on our team and she was young and spunky and so excited to be a teacher. And we worked together a lot because we were teaching some, we were teaching the same content.

And looking back, That's one of my biggest [00:13:00] regrets in my teaching career, is that whole year, all I did was whine and complain and be negative to this brand new teacher who was so excited to be a teacher. And if I could go back and change anything of my teaching career, that would be it. That I would come alongside her and find some positivity inside of me, regardless of how burned out I was feeling at that time, and not, you know, Like, just like bleh all over her with my negativity.

She probably hated me. She probably saw me coming and was like, Oh my gosh, go away. But that also boils down to my own self care. And we talk a lot about what students need, but also teachers need a lot. And I was a teacher that gave my all. And at that time, one of my daughters was a senior in high school and everything that was going on with that.

My other daughter, I just, there was so much going on. But yet, I had no work life balance, and , you know, it bled [00:14:00] through. You talked a little bit about the curriculum, but a lot of schools don't have these programs, they don't invest in them, or maybe they just can't.

What would you suggest to a teacher that wants to do these things and build this, the social emotional learning of her students, but she doesn't have, you know, anything to rely on to help. Resources, right. And I've social media has a lot of negatives, but there, there are some positives and there are communities specifically out there.

For social emotional learning and I would encourage them to start there and find some resources that are comfortable for them. Find some practices that they are comfortable with that benefit them and sharing those kinds of things really resonates with your students because you are so excited about it that they come alongside you.

And that energy is it is contagious. [00:15:00] If the teacher is in a negative mood, the classes also in the same way goes. We all know what happens when that one student comes dragging in late for school. They obviously had a terrible morning and just that dark cloud that can come over The classmates, you, everything.

So I love this push towards SEL and what it's doing for our students. And I do think it is more important now than ever. So I am super excited to hear about that. To hear about. The things that you've shared, but mostly because I think this conversation is just going to remind teachers of what they already know to place emphasis on this, to think about it, to make it a priority in the classroom and going back to what you already said about just keeping first, what's first, and that is the students.

They're not going to remember a lot that you've taught them, but. They are going to remember how you made them feel [00:16:00] and there's been lots of really great brain research that's come out in the last decade and recently in the last, probably three years since COVID there've been a lot of new studies on how that has affected us as a society.

And so looking at it through a trauma informed lens, you can recognize those areas that need to be brought along. But a student is not, or cannot, work for you if they are in that fight, flight, or freeze. And there are Some areas of SEL that call it downstairs brain and upstairs brain.

And so if they're in their downstairs brain, which is fight, flight, or freeze, They literally cannot learn the brain cannot learn new things And so we have to find ways to help our students move from their downstairs brain to their upstairs brain where they [00:17:00] can think critically about , whatever it is you're teaching, and they can , make those kinds of cognitive attachments.

So, as we work with some of those areas, then we realize, how we can get our students to work for us and they need to have that kind of relationship. And so, I think that the face of education has changed so much because we're realizing that it's the relationships with our students.

That are so much more important. And I definitely think that Covid brought that lesson out. Just really washed the mud off of that one. Because, people need people and we have to be able to connect with that child, every child in some way, and we can recognize where they are in their day and give them what they need and give them the tools.

So eventually they can [00:18:00] ask for what they need. They can advocate for themselves and they're able to name their feelings, name their emotions. They're able to, stop and think why am I feeling this way? This is how I'm feeling. What do I need? And they can start to gather some tools for themselves and, , it can be lots of different things.

It can be, a really cold drink of water. It could be a havening practice where you rub your hands like this back and forth slowly. It can be breathing. It can be, uh, Just looking around the room for different colors. You need, five things that are blue, four things that are green, three things that are red.

And it, it stops that relentless conversation that kids are having with themselves in that fight, flight or freeze mode. And it can move them from a sympathetic to a [00:19:00] parasympathetic dominated body so that they can come back to where they are in the center.

Imagine if kids could master that while they're in elementary school because the real anxiety, that's my goal. That's what I want to do. Yes. Thanks so much. I want them to leave here with ways to be the best version of themselves. And I don't want to sound cliche, but I want them to be.

To be capable of being the best and feeling the best about themselves and about the world around them that they can possibly feel. We only get one go at this. So, I'm learning right along with them, but you know, they're taking this. with them and they can, their practices, their moments are going to affect a ripple effect.

They're going to affect their parents. It's going to affect their siblings. It's going to affect [00:20:00] the people they run into at Walmart. And so that happiness can become contagious. I love that. So we are going to end by me asking you some different scenarios that a child might find themselves in, and I'm going to give you an A or B.

They could both be right, or there's, you know, not really a right answer. So you just kind of pick which one you would do. And if it's neither, you can say C and what you would do instead. Okay. Okay. So let's say that a student is feeling very anxious before a big test. Would you. A, encourage them to take deep breaths and use positive affirmations, or B, allow them to take a short walk or get some fresh air.

Oh I would have to choose C because I would offer those two options and probably a third one and they would choose what they needed. I wouldn't give them an option that I [00:21:00] hadn't taught them how to do, but I would give them a couple of options and they could take what they needed because they know themselves best.

And eventually they'll be able to ask for what they need instead of being given an option. Okay, here's another one. A class conflict arises during group work time. Would you have the students involved sit down and have a peer mediation session? Or would you lead the class in a conflict resolution role play?

to model positive behavior? Probably both. In the moment, I would work with that group so that they could overcome whatever obstacle it was, but I wouldn't leave it there. We would use that as a talking point for the kids to bring in their own thoughts into a situation that could come up for them that would be similar.

And so they're problem solving for future. Everybody's [00:22:00] gaining from one experience. Awesome. Okay. This one, I think, is one that every teacher fears. A student is having a meltdown and disrupting the class. Would you remove the student from the situation and give them time to calm down?

Or would you use a calming corner or a space in the classroom for the student to self regulate? I, again, I would let the student choose what would be best for them which do they feel would be most helpful to them. Do they need to be out? Are they so elevated that?

That there's the only option for this moment is out and then Possibly come back in and go to the calming corner or would that be enough for them? It depends on what the meltdown looks like, what the topic was, is it academic or is it social? You know, those are two separate things and I would handle those differently.

Hopefully there would be someone available [00:23:00] that if the student wanted to step out, that they wouldn't be alone. Because. Our students need to feel supported at all times. They're becoming humans. They're not quite humans yet. And so we need to support them on their own journey. Self healing and inner peace.

I love how all of your answers rely on knowing your students and them knowing themselves. And so I think that's where we start working right at the beginning of the school year. How can we get to know our students? And then all the things that you've been suggesting along the way are ways that they can start to recognize in themselves, their own needs and their own struggles and what works for them.

but I want to emphasize one more thing. A teacher can't do that unless they've already done it for themselves. So a dysregulated educator is not going to help anyone. So that's why these practices need to [00:24:00] be normalized. We need to stop calling them woo activities because it's not. It's human.

You know, we have a polyvagal nerve that controls our body that we have to be in charge of before we can teach anyone else to do that. If I haven't been actually in a certain situation I can't give scenarios to anyone of how that's going to be. And what kinds of things they might discover there if I haven't been there myself.

Oh, that's so good. That's so good because it does boil down to how we and we've talked about this, how you feel spreads. And also I think I know at my age, I was not raised with any of this. I was raised in a time where if something was wrong, you suck it up. I was a feral 70s kid too. Thankfully I had [00:25:00] educated parents that, you know, could respond to me, but you know, all my other friends around me were feral kind of, you know, suck it up.

I'm, I will give you something to cry about if you don't stop crying. But but the world is much different than. Back then too. And I think as educators, we have to stay relevant and we have to respond to what they need. I let my kid, when I get frustrated, I let my kids watch me be frustrated, take a few breaths and I'll just say, okay, guys, I need you to sit down.

I need 30 seconds to breathe. I'll be right back with you. And I'm making it normal in the class. They see me doing it. It's okay for them to need that. So it's okay for them to ask for that. So, we've got to just keep it out there, can't be, do what I say, not what I do.

You, you have to do it. You have to be that person. Yeah, and we [00:26:00] recognize that our students need that. And I think teachers now are recognizing that they need that as well. But I am glad that the push is to recognize you need that, to take care of yourself, to have work home life balance, all of the things that we're trying to do.

And I think if we can figure that out, there's going to be far less teachers quitting than there are currently. Yes. And I think that we'll have far less unhappy families in the future. We'll have far less unhappy adult people at their jobs. We'll have, far less dysregulation through the tragedies of our lives because they're going to come, they're going to come.

It's. It's about how you handle it, can you handle it, and if you don't have the tools, then it goes wrong. But when you have the tools, [00:27:00] then you can bring yourself through it, and you can bring others through it. Okay, so last question is, you want to build a positive classroom community. Do you start each week with a team building activity, or do you create a class charter or agreement together with your students?

We did not start with a class charter, but we came to that later this year we started with a community. My kids needed to know each other's names. My kids needed to know that somebody else likes horses. And so we started with community. We started with supporting each other and Being each other's cheerleader.

And then we're moving into tougher concepts like gossiping, which is a little more negative, but we have to build each other up. We have to feed on that positive for a while before we can run through it. But having a charter, having a goal, having a shared. [00:28:00] document or a process is really important to having that cohesive group that you need to support your kids and they'll support each other.

Thank you so much for sharing. I feel like after getting to talk to you, you have such and it's coming out. The longer I talk to you, the more I'm seeing that the breadth of the experience that you have in this area it's just seems so genuine and authentic. And thank you. I just would love to see your class in action and see how they are and how they're treating each other and how you're interacting.

We're learning. And just when you get it down pat, they're going to move on to fifth grade. Well, that's the goal because they're going to take all that with them. Absolutely. Well, thank you again. Is there anything else you'd like to share or say before we sign off? No, thank you for this [00:29:00] opportunity. If anybody has any questions, I'd be glad to field emails or questions.

I don't have any resources available. I haven't made up any documents or anything except for myself, but I'd be glad to share the kinds of things that we do. Great. Well, thank you so much, and I hope you have a great day. You too. Thank you for having me. Bye.